SSA Hotchner in Toledo

Monday morning I saw a real, live FBI AGENT on my bus from Polígono to Toledo. Well, I thought he was real at first. I got on at my usual stop and there he was, sitting in the back row all by his lonesome. I didn't get a good look at him, but I did see his very official-looking red shirt with FBI written in huge white letters. Also I could see New York written under it. That's legit, right? I was so curious. My journalist mother will be happy to know that she has passed her curiosity and questioning tendencies on to me. I was dying to ask this guy what he was doing in Toledo...why was the FBI brought in? Was he from the BAU? Is there a SERIAL KILLER IN SPAIN????? I had made up my mind to switch seats, go sit by him and begin my interrogation when he pressed the "parada solicitada" button and got up to get off the bus. Darn.

Upon further investigation of SSA Mystery Man, I realized that I was wrong. An entire summer of borderline religious dedication to Criminal Minds has given me the skills to deduce that this man was not actually an FBI Supervisory Special Agent, much to my disappointment. Here is my reasoning; tell me if you agree:

1. His t-shirt read "FBI Special New York City Department." A simple Google search told me that that special division does not actually exist. It was totally just a souvenir t-shirt.
2. He was wearing a wedding band...on his right hand. Wedding rings are worn on the right hand in Spain, meaning pseudo-SSA was probably just a local.
3. He was listening to music with earbuds AND singing along. Even an off-duty SSA in street clothes wouldn't allow himself to be distracted by the latest Top 40 hits. He would be alert, paying sharp attention to his surroundings, lest any UnSubs board the bus he's riding.
4. In addition to his FBI t-shirt, he was wearing Formula 1 sweatpants and sneakers. When we arrived at his bus stop, he hopped off and jogged away, enjoying the sunshine on his morning run.
   

Also. TIHLALIS #15-19:

15. Reaction time in Spain needs some serious improvement. Women's rights, economic situation, job strikes...everything. It's all a delayed reaction! It's a little bit funny when you think in retrospect that Spain is slow to react to everything, But really. Come on. You guys need to step up your game here.

16. Hamburgers are made from ternera, which is pork. and they are DELICIOUS. My host mom made them the other night for dinner. So good.

17. My host mom might be a little bit crazy. She always talks to herself! I think it might be for my benefit, so I can hear in actual words what she's doing, but if not.........then we have some serious issues. She literally narrates every single thing she does. It's hilarious.

18. Reason #1239464328 why I hate backpacks: They hit people when you move around on the bus, and you don't realize it until you notice them giving you mean glares and muttering what are probably Spanish curse words under their breath.

19. The Tuesday market in Toledo called Martes (really original, right?) is essential to LIFE. Today on the bus we were like sardines squished in the aisles. Luckily I live really far out into the suburbs so I was one of the first ones to get on...i.e., I fought old ladies for the seats and I won. Just kidding. About the fighting. I really did get a seat. But I'm pretty sure every single woman over the age of 60 was headed to the market today to buy the 3 for 1 underwear the vendors wave in your face as you walk by.

Plus also (Junie B. Jones, anyone??), TIHLAL #5-6:

5. Lola can be vicious! She bit my host mom the other day and punctured the skin. As in, there was blood. Drawn by Lola's fierce chompers. I'll be keeping a safer distance from now on.

6. Lola is a great awkward silence breaker. When host mom and Raquel argue at dinner about why Raquel isn't allowed to skip work next week and then it gets awkwardly quiet, host mom just turns to Lola and talks to her instead.